Hi loves. First of all, to everyone who has DM’d me asking me where I’ve been and why I haven’t been posting, thank you. I can’t even explain how much your messages have helped motive me to write this post. I don’t even know how to start this blog post. I know that I haven’t posted in quite some time now and I feel like I owe you guys an explanation.
Ever since I was a kid I’ve absolutely loved fashion and styling and unfortunately due to various reasons I wasn’t able to pursue my dreams. Flash forward to the present, I have graduated college. I’m happily married. I’m independent; yet I still have not forgotten about my dream. Which is why I decided to start this blog– to still be apart of the fashion world. I’ve talked to Muzzi (my husband) so many times about the what-ifs that I thought enough-is-enough. Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. So I decided that once we move to New York, I’ll blog part time while also working as a healthcare consultant to get my feet wet in the fashion/blogging world. Great, right? That’s what I thought too. I felt like my life was perfect. I mean come on, I’m moving to New York this June to pursue my dreams, AND I have the most supportive husband in world rooting for me. And then it just hit me.
A feeling that I’ve never really felt before. I couldn’t really put my finger on it. All I knew was that something just wasn’t right. I started sleeping a lot and I mean like 12+ hours a night. I was always tired and constantly had negative thoughts in my head. I never wanted to speak to anyone, never wanted to hang out with my friends, family, or even Muzzi. I’ve always been bad at replying back to people’s text messages; however, I purposefully didn’t reply back because I didn’t want to talk to or hang out with anyone. I didn’t even want to blog or post on Instagram, because I felt like there was no purpose. All I kept trying to figure out was why I kept feeling this way. And that’s the scary/ weird thing about anxiety, there doesn’t have to be a reason. It honestly was the worst feeling EVER. A couple of weeks in, my mom noticed my behavior and somehow I ended up telling her how I felt and a week later I told Muzzi. I recently went to my physician to get checked up. However, I thank god for my mom and Muzzi because just even talking about my feelings out loud really helped me. Whenever I felt anxious I either called Muzzi or my mom and talked to them about what was going on in my head and it really helped me calm down.
Beside the fact of giving you guys an explanation of why I was gone, I want ya’ll to know that if any of you guys ever feel this way and need someone to talk to please do not hesitate to DM me. I love you guys so so much ❤